If asked to mediate my divorce, must I say ‘yes’?

When a couple’s relationship has become so unraveled that they are seeking a divorce, there may be a certain amount of ill-will between them. Still, one or both parties may want to at least try to reach an out-of-court settlement and may ask their estranged spouse to join them in mediating the divorce. In addition, sometimes mediation is ordered by the court in a divorce case. In these situations, is a person in Texas obligated to attend divorce mediation sessions?

Mediation is a way of negotiating a divorce settlement. The mediator is a neutral third party who oversees conversations between the spouses, facilitating discussions that could lead to an agreement on the issues. Some couples who are on amicable terms may choose mediation, but, if there is a lot of ill-will between the parties, can one spouse refuse to participate?

If mediation has been ordered by a judge, then both parties must attend and participate. Failure to do so could cause the resisting party to be held in contempt of court. However, if one spouse requests mediation without a court order, then the other is free to decide whether they want to participate.

It can help to provide your ex with a written response regarding your decision to mediate your divorce. This can show your willingness to cooperate if you agree to mediation or it can provide your reasoning if you decline.

With the help of the mediator, even couples who can barely speak to one another could still give mediation a go. And, if they are not ordered by the court to do so, they may still want to consider mediation as a means of avoiding litigation.


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Author: On behalf of Katie L. Lewis of Katie L. Lewis, P.C. Family Law

When the child custody mediation process breaks down

Divorce is a difficult process, and like many others, you may hope that there is a way you can ease the stress and complication that often comes with it. Like many other Texas couples, you and your spouse may choose to try mediation for your divorce. However, every situation is different, and this may not be what actually works for you.

Mediation is a process that allows two parties to work through disagreements and issues in a respectful and productive manner. With the help of a neutral third-party mediator, you and your spouse will use discussion, negotiation and other means of dispute resolution to resolve divorce disagreements and reach a beneficial resolution. In some cases, mediation works and is a smart choice – but what if that is not the case for you?

Mediation, child custody and your future

Child custody is often one of the most contentious issues of a divorce. It’s not easy to make choices that will impact your children for years to come, and some parents may resort to mediation to resolve their custody disputes. This is a sensitive issue, and sometimes the mediation process breaks down. Signs that mediation is not working for you may include:

  • You find that you and the other party are talking about the same things again and again but not reaching any decisions.
  • One or both parties are hostile or there are personal attacks instead of helpful discussions.
  • Mediation sessions drag on without any meaningful progress in the issues you two need to resolve.
  • You and the other party keep discussing things that do not relate to the children.

Mediation is about compromise and working together, and in some situations, that is simply not possible. If you find that you may not be getting anywhere with mediation, don’t panic. This does not mean that you failed or that you won’t be able to pursue a reasonable final divorce order.

If you are not able to continue with mediation, you may want to explore the possibility of moving ahead with another option. Litigation may be necessary, but it can be helpful to first discuss your case with an experienced family law advocate who has your best interests in mind. When mediation fails, you would be wise to start exploring ways you can still protect your rights and fight for the best post-divorce future possible.


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Author: On behalf of Katie L. Lewis of Katie L. Lewis, P.C. Family Law

In re E.W.

(California Court of Appeal) – Affirmed. The juvenile court awarded the father sole legal and physical custody and ordered that the mother have no visitation with the child. The mother appealed the order arguing that the juvenile court had no jurisdiction to make such an order because the child resides in South Carolina. The appeals court held that the initial child custody determination was made in California and that California courts retained exclusive and continuing jurisdiction.


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