Site of the Week: Risky Biz

Suzanne Rose of Tennessee (and Suzanne Rose Consulting) started her blog recently, but swore me to silence for a while. Time’s up, Suzanne. Risky Biz dervives its name from the idea that running a law firm can be risky. It…

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Author: Jim Calloway

Coping with divorce and depression

Marriage break-ups can often be followed by periods of depression and anxiety for divorcing husbands and wives.

And no wonder. The end of a long-term relationship can spark a range of emotions and fears for the future. It is important to remember that this is completely normal. You will have good days and bad days, just as everyone else does.

Below, we have detailed five tips that will help you to build resilience to navigate the process of separation. And remember, marriage takes two, and if one person is unhappy the other will suffer. Try to shift your thinking from “it’s the end of the world” to “it’s the beginning of the new.”

Feel your feelings

Feeling emotions helps you deal with them. It’s completely natural to feel sad, disappointed, angry, scared… sometimes all in one hour. Do not shy away from them. Burying these feelings leads to bitterness and you will not move forward. Don’t carry the undealt negative emotions into the next stage of your life.

Stop thinking you are a failure

Divorce can rock your self-esteem and self-worth.  Whatever the circumstances, you will ask yourself, what went wrong? Was it my fault? Am I not good enough? However, remember this is your bruised confidence talking. Of course, your self-esteem takes a hit when a relationship ends, but the way to fill the hole left by divorce is through acceptance of and kindness to yourself.  Learn to believe in you again.

Surround yourself with support

Identify your support network and talk to them.  This is the best way to stop yourself from becoming isolated. Connect with friends and family who are supportive and boost your mood. This is not the time for judgement. Often people who have been through a break-up themselves and know what you are going through can offer useful advice.

If you prefer to talk to people you do not know, then seek out a counsellor or local support group. There is a list of useful contact numbers at the end of this article.

Meet a new side of you

You are no less by being single. You are just not part of a couple which is okay.  Often, in a long-term relationship, you can lose a part of your identity which is normal, but you were your own person before and you will be again. Think about what you like doing but stopped because married life took over. Return to them again, or think about what you have always wanted to do and give it a try.

Be kind to yourself

Take time to do something purely for you. Think about what you enjoy, such as a long walk, a soak in the bath, get out running, practice yoga, read a book or bake for friends and family. Also, remember to cover the basics: eat well, get plenty of sleep and rest when you need to.

Getting help for depression

If you’re struggling with the emotional aspects of separation and are concerned about depression and anxiety there are some useful contacts below. Please do seek professional help and support.

Mind Information, advice and support on all aspects of mental health

0300 123 3393

NHS Provides information on what depression is, its causes, how to spot the signs, where to get help, and treatment.

Samaritans Provides confidential emotional support for those experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including suicidal feelings.

116 123 (Freephone number)

SANE A national helpline offering emotional support and information to anyone affected by mental illness.

0300 304 7000

Hopeline UK Non-judgmental support and advice for children and people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide.

Call: 0800 068 41 41 / Text: 0778 620 9697

The post Coping with divorce and depression appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: Stowe Family Law

Dealing with an intractable children dispute, Part 1

In early April the Court of Appeal handed down its decision in two private law children appeals, within five days of one another. Between them, I think the two cases have useful things to say about intractable disputes between parents over arrangements for their children, in cases where ‘parental alienation’ is not an issue. I shall deal with the first case in this post, and the second case in my next post.

The first case which, as we will see in a moment, I have previously written about here, is G (Children : Intractable Dispute), which concerned an appeal by a father against the refusal of an application for orders that his two children should live with him or have contact with him, and an order preventing him from bringing any further applications relating to the children for three years, without the permission of the court.

The facts of the case were that the parents lived together for some years, separating in May 2013. They had two children, both girls, now aged 11 and 8. The girls live with their mother. Since the separation there has been uninterrupted litigation between the parents about the children, and other matters (how often do we hear this?).

I couldn’t possibly detail all of that litigation (as far as it relates to the children) here, but these are the main points:

  1. In August 2014 a fact-finding hearing took place at which the judge made adverse findings against the father, relying in part upon two reports from a social worker, which supported the mother’s allegations of domestic abuse against the father. As I explained here, in 2015 the father succeeded in appealing against the findings, after the social worker was found to be biased.
  2. A ‘final’ hearing took place in early 2017. The mother wanted the court to make a final order, but the father sought a further psychological assessment of the older child, who indicated she did not wish to see her father. The judge preferred the father’s case, and ordered the assessment, which was extended to the whole family.
  3. A ‘final’ final hearing took place in April 2018, with judgment being handed down in July. The judge made a number of damning findings against the father, including that he was openly hostile towards the mother, that he was hostile towards the professionals involved in the case, that he was “the main if not principal source of conflict”, that he was unable to prioritise the children’s welfare above his own wishes, and that he had “completely lost sight of the welfare of the children”. In consequence of these findings, the judge refused the father’s application for orders that the children should live with him or have contact with him, and prevented him from bringing further applications without permission for three years.
  4. The father had had no proper direct contact with the older child since April 2014, and no contact with the younger child since September 2016.

The father appealed to the Court of Appeal, claiming, amongst other things, that the proceedings were procedurally unfair and infringed the children and father’s right to respect for private and family life under Article 8 of the European Convention for the Protection of Human Rights, by virtue either of the absence of contact or the length of the proceedings. It was also claimed that the judge had not pursued all reasonable routes available to him.

Giving the leading judgment of the Court of Appeal Lord Justice Peter Jackson found that there had been no breach of the human rights of the children or the father. Although the length of the proceedings was a matter of concern, that did not of itself amount to a rights infringement. “What is more relevant”, he said, “is that since 2015 the Judge has diligently and sympathetically attempted to revive the father’s relationship with his children but has been forestalled by the mother’s earlier lack of support for contact and by the father’s increasingly extreme attitude.” He went on:

“The father’s self-description as “free of findings, risks or concerns throughout” confirms that he currently has little if any insight into his own difficulties. As time has gone on, his self-defeating stance has become the main obstacle to progress. To be clear, Art. 8 rights are not reserved for irreproachable parents, but a parent who is only willing to participate in the delicate work of family reconstruction on his own uncompromising terms cannot hold others responsible when the work does not succeed.”

As to the routes available to the judge, Lord Justice Jackson said that there were only really two options:

“…the orders made by the Judge or the order sought by the father for the children to live with him, notwithstanding what the Judge described as the lack of any coherent planning for matters such as accommodation. Of these options, only one was realistic in the absence of a finding of severe parental alienation and the Judge’s choice was all but inevitable.”

Accordingly, the appeal was dismissed.

Whilst the father in this case clearly had reason to be aggrieved by how the ‘system’ had treated him, the case demonstrates the futility of continued hostility towards that system, and the other party. If you want the best outcome, then you must put aside any hatred of the other parent, cooperate fully with the ‘system’ and, above all, ensure that you put the welfare of the children above your own wishes.

You can read the full judgment here.

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Author: John Bolch

Carbon Sequestration

Carbon sequestration diagram

Greenhouse gas disposal techniques

By now, everyone is well aware of the atmosphere’s rising level of carbon dioxide (CO2), as well as the fact that this is increasing the average global temperature and causing climate change. While nations and corporations debate about whether or to what extent CO2 emissions can be reduced, it’s clear that at least a portion of that unwanted CO2 can be captured and liquefied (for example, as it’s produced by power plants and factories), preventing it from going into the atmosphere. Great, but then what? There’s way too much of it to just store it in giant tanks for eternity.

The process of storing carbon dioxide permanently in such a way that it cannot escape back into the atmosphere is known as carbon sequestration (or, sometimes, carbon dioxide sequestration). You may have heard the term in the news, but what does it really mean? Broadly speaking, there are two places one might put large quantities of unwanted carbon dioxide—in the oceans or underground. Techniques for getting the CO2 to its putative final resting place (and keeping it there) are in varying stages of development.

Ocean Storage

The world’s oceans already absorb unfathomable amounts of CO2; some researchers believe they could hold a great deal more with a little help. The upper part of the ocean typically has a fairly high concentration of CO2 (absorbed directly from the atmosphere), but at greater depths, the concentration is much lower. So one way to dispose of CO2 may be to inject it into deep ocean water. At depths over 3,000 meters or so, liquid or solid CO2 is denser than the surrounding water, meaning that it could sink all the way to the ocean floor. Closer to the surface, it would dissolve into the water, which wouldn’t be great because dissolved CO2 makes the water acidic, with detrimental effects on marine life. Liquid CO2 on the ocean floor may react with minerals there and form relatively harmless solid precipitates—or it may simply kill off organisms already living there. So it’s an idea, but not a risk-free one.

Geological Storage

Well, what about putting it in the ground? Merely burying CO2 is not good enough; in order for it to stay put, it has to be stored very deep in the ground, and somewhere that the gas cannot escape into the atmosphere. Some possibilities include:

  • Saline Aquifers: An aquifer is a porous layer of rock that holds a large quantity of water—often saltwater. Inject CO2 deeply enough into an aquifer, and the surrounding pressure keeps it in liquid form. Meanwhile, an impermeable layer of solid rock above prevents the gas from being released back into the atmosphere. Although aquifer storage is expensive, it is likely to have less impact on the environment than ocean storage—and the CO2 can remain safely underground, theoretically, forever.
  • Oil and Gas Reservoirs: If you can put carbon dioxide into an aquifer, you can also put it into a depleted gas or oil well. In fact, the technology to deliver CO2 into such wells has been in use for decades; pump CO2 into an oil well, for instance, and you can push out extra oil that would otherwise be unreachable. (Of course, that oil, when burned, will also contribute to CO2 overload, but the net effect should be positive.) As long as the CO2 is stored deep enough, it will remain as a liquid.
  • Coal Seams: Most of the world’s coal deposits are located too deep in the ground for mining to be practical. When CO2 is injected into coal seams, the coal absorbs the gas. Meanwhile, in a manner similar to enhanced oil recovery, the process also pushes out methane gas, which can be used as a fuel (again, one that puts back some greenhouse gases back in the atmosphere—three steps forward, two steps back).

And then, of course, there’s a natural CO2 storage apparatus: forests. Trees are incredibly effective at absorbing carbon dioxide and creating oxygen, so planting (or replanting) millions of acres of forest could go a long way toward solving the CO2 problem—no drilling or high-tech research required. This is not technically sequestration, as you wouldn’t manually inject previously collected carbon dioxide into a tree—but it does have essentially the same net effect.

Carbon sequestration is not a magic bullet—it will help, sure, but as long as we keep pumping more CO2 into the atmosphere, we’re still making the problem worse. Furthermore, although all the potential terrestrial CO2 storage spots show some promise, the safety, capacity, and long-term effectiveness of carbon sequestration is ultimately unknown. At best, it will address only a small portion of the atmospheric CO2 surplus; at worst, we may find that something we thought we buried comes back to haunt us. (If you want to be really sure carbon never escapes again, you could compress it all the way into diamonds. That’s possible, but requires too much energy to be feasible.)

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on December 17, 2004.

Image credit: LeJean Hardin and Jamie Payne – derivative work: Jarl Arntzen [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons


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Author: Joe Kissell

Juli’s Gluten Free Pasta Salad

My friend, Juli, over at Pandemonium Noshery has so many great recipes to share with people from around the globe. This is one of her own unique creations, though, that she was kind enough to share with us. Looks delicious!

Have you ever hear anyone say “Necessity is the mother of all invention”? This recipe is proof of that. I had little left in the house one night and didn’t want to make a


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Author: Penniless Parenting

5 Classic Coffee Drinks That Are To Die For

I used to never drink coffee; loved the smell but hated the taste. Over time however, I learned to love it and even crave it and started drinking it on a regular basis. Unfortunately, coffee didn’t do such good things for my mental health so I needed to completely cut it out, and now miss it. I do though occasionally have fake coffee with caffeine free substitutes. However, for those that love


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Author: Penniless Parenting

The emotional stages of divorce

Divorce can often be followed by periods of depression and anxiety for separating husbands and wives. So, in honour of Mental Health Awareness Week, we have created a short video on the journey through the six emotional stages of divorce.

Based on the five stages of grief identified by the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross back in 1969 in her book On Death and Dying, the end of a marriage or relationship is a bereavement: a loss of the life you once had and of the future, you believed you would have.

Understanding the emotional stages will help you to deal with them.

You can read the whole article here.

The post The emotional stages of divorce appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: Stowe Family Law