National Oysters Rockefeller Day

Oysters Rockefeller

We’ve covered Oysters Rockefeller previously here on Interesting Thing of the Day—it’s a baked oyster dish with a secret recipe—often imitated but never precisely replicated. If you want the original version, I’m afraid you’ll have to visit Antoine’s in New Orleans—the same restaurant that declared January 10 to be National Oysters Rockefeller Day starting in 2017. Today, however, if you are inclined to make Oysters Rockefeller yourself, or buy them at another restaurant, I hereby authorize you to use any recipe that tastes good. (Offer expires at midnight, sorry.)

Image credit: Larry Hoffman [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Flickr


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Author: Joe Kissell

Easy Paleo Chili “Cheese” Fries Recipe with Chocolate Chili and Dairy Free Cheese Sauce

A few months back I went out with friends to eat, and I ordered chili “cheese” fries (with non dairy cheese sauce), and it was so delicious. Since then, I’ve made it so many times at home; it’s become a bit of an obsession here. The reason for that is it is super easy to make, relatively frugal, my kids all enjoy it, and it tastes amazing.

I was in a rush yesterday and I made the chili


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Author: Penniless Parenting

How to Stop Getting Sucked Into Sales

It doesn’t matter how good of a deal something is. If we don’t need something and buy it unnecessarily, it’s a waste of money. Here’s some suggestions from a reader how to stop getting sucked into sales.

It’s fair to say we all love a bargain. With the rise of Black Friday, Boxing Day sales and January sales, it’s easy to be tempted into splurging. This year, American shoppers spent a record


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Author: Penniless Parenting

A word of caution for cohabitees without a will

Non-married couples get a raw deal under English law when their relationship ends, regardless of how long they lived together.

As a family lawyer specialising in cases involving claims against estates under the Inheritance Act, I am regularly consulted by clients whose partners have recently died and who feel that they have not received a fair share of their loved one’s estate if anything at all.

Sometimes this is because the partner did not leave them anything but often it is that the deceased did not prepare a will. Without one, intestacy rules apply meaning that an unmarried partner is not entitled to receive anything. The estate instead passes to the deceased’s children or other relatives.

Unfortunately, some people still believe that they are common law spouses because they have lived together for a long period of time.  But the concept of a common law spouse does not exist in English law, except in some very unusual circumstances.

The bottom line is that if you are not married, you have less legal protection if your relationship ends through the death of one partner.

However, a recent High Court case has thrown the spotlight on claims brought by cohabitees against a late partner’s estate.

In Thompson v Raggott, the High Court ruled in favour of Joan Thompson’s claim for reasonable financial provision out of the estate of her late partner, Wynford Hodge.

Mr Hodge, worth £1.5 million, left nothing for Mrs Thompson or her four children. He felt that three of her children had taken advantage of him during his lifetime and instead left the estate to his friends – who were also tenants at one of his properties.

Mrs Thompson claimed she had been financially dependent on her late partner and had lived with him for approximately 42 years.

Following evidence from her GP, Mrs Thompson made it clear that she was in fact well enough to live at home alone, with an appropriate care package. Her claim was also supported by the fact that one of Mr Hodge’s properties had been purchased for the couple to move into after retirement.

The court decided to provide an outright transfer of the property to Mrs Thompson, rather than holding it on trust with a lifetime interest.

It is worth bearing in mind that most of the estate passed to Mr Hodge’s friends as per his will.  However, it is highly likely that Mrs Thompson would have received significantly more financial provision if she had been Mr Hodge’s widow rather than his surviving cohabitee as the law states that a widow or widower should receive a higher level of financial provision from an estate than a surviving cohabitee.

Cohabitees claims under Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 are a complex area of family law and it is important you seek specialist advice if you think you have a claim over a former partner’s estate.

You can get in touch with me below or email theo.hoppen@stowefamilylaw.co.uk

The post A word of caution for cohabitees without a will appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: Theo Hoppen

Father ordered to return child to Sudan despite wishes of child

I’ve said it
here before, but quite often a large part of the job of a judge is simply to
decide which party is telling the truth. And so it was in the child abduction
case AH v AMH F (Summary return of child
to Sudan)
, decided by Her Honour Judge Hillier in the High Court last
October, but only recently reported on the Bailii website. The case is also
interesting for other reasons, including the weight to be given to the wishes
of the child.

Before
proceeding, I should explain something for the benefit of those who are
familiar with the principles used to decide child abduction cases involving
countries that are signatories to the Hague Convention on Child Abduction. This
case was a ‘non Convention’ case, as Sudan is not a signatory to the Convention,
and when deciding whether or not to order the summary return of a child to a
non-Convention country, the court does not operate by the principles laid down
in the Convention. In particular, the court must follow the principle that the
welfare of the child is its ‘paramount consideration’ (Hague convention cases
are one of the few types of children cases in which this ‘paramountcy
principle’ does not apply).

The case
concerned ‘B’, a boy aged ten, who has both British and Sudanese Nationality.
His mother is a Sudanese National, and his father is a British National, of
Sudanese descent. They married in Sudan in 2007 and B is their only child. B
was born in Sudan, but he and the mother lived for a short period with the
father in the UK. The parents separated and the mother applied to the English court
for permission to relocate permanently with B to the Sudan. The application was
granted, and B and the mother returned to Sudan in September 2009.

It was
agreed that B would return to England to see his father during the summer
holidays once he had reached the age of six. He came to the UK in 2016, but was
retained by his father at the end of the agreed period, and as a result the
mother did not agree to him coming in 2017. She did, however, agree to him
coming to England in March last year (when the school holidays began in Sudan),
although the exact circumstances were disputed by the parents.

The father
maintained that he had no particular intention to keep B here, until he asked
him what he wanted to do. He gave B the option of staying here and getting a
better education and healthcare. B had told him that he wanted to stay here. He
suggested that the mother had indicated that she didn’t mind whether B was
educated in Sudan or England.

The mother’s
version of events was that she agreed for B to stay in England with his father,
but only until the school was due to start again in Sudan, in July. She had
never indicated that she agreed to B remaining in England. The father told her
in April that he did not intend to return B to Sudan, and enrolled B in an
English school, without asking her.

The mother
applied for the summary return of B to Sudan.

Judge
Hillier did not accept the father’s evidence. She found that he had lied about
several things, and had had no intention at all of returning B to Sudan when he
collected him at the end of March. On the other hand, the mother had been
truthful, and Judge Hillier accepted her version of events.

As to B’s
welfare, she found that this would be best served by his returning to Sudan. He
had a much stronger connection with that country, having lived there for the
vast majority of his life. B had indicated a preference to remain in this
country, but Judge Hillier, who had met him, found that he was clearly too
immature for her to give very significant weight to his views, and that he had
been significantly affected by his father, saying what his father wanted him to
say.

Judge
Hillier also expressed concern about the father’s behaviour, which she said demonstrated
his complete lack of insight into his son’s needs. In her assessment, she said, B will
have suffered emotional damage by his father’s unilateral actions, because it was
not a planned consensual move. She found that the mother was able to meet all
of B’s physical, emotional and health needs, whereas the father seemed “absolutely
unable to comprehend his son’s emotional needs”, and therefore could not meet
them.

Accordingly,
Judge Hillier ordered that B should immediately be returned to Sudan.

You can read
the full judgment here.

The post Father ordered to return child to Sudan despite wishes of child appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: John Bolch

Bahasa Indonesia

Samples of Bahasa Indonesia books

The complex story of a simple language

During college I spent a summer in Indonesia, and naturally I picked up a bit of the language. When I say “the language,” I’m referring to Indonesian or, as it is known in Indonesian, Bahasa Indonesia (“language of Indonesia”). This statement is not as obvious as it may sound; Indonesia is home to hundreds of languages, and of these, Indonesian is not spoken as a first language by the majority of the population. But it is the lingua franca, so it’s useful for citizens and travelers alike. I found Indonesian to be straightforward and easy to learn, free of most of the irregularities and annoyances of the Romance languages.

What I understood at the time was that Indonesian is, for the most part, the same language as Malay (Bahasa Melayu), the national language of neighboring Malaysia. I assumed that there were some differences, but that the main one was simply the name. I had no idea at that time of how either version of the language came into existence. It turns out that there’s a bit of a modern myth about the language’s origin—but the truth is even more interesting.

Artificial Intelligence

While doing some research on an unrelated topic, I stumbled upon a webpage claiming that Indonesian was an artificial language. I’d never heard that before and it piqued my interest, so I dug further. A few minutes of web searches turned up quotes such as the following (identities omitted to protect the guilty):

Bahasa Indonesia is an artificial language made official in 1928. By artificial I mean it was designed by academics rather than evolving naturally as most common languages have.

…Indonesian [is] a very simple Malay-based artificial language, designed by academics, and was the official language for a multiethnic country of over 230 million inhabitants.

…Indonesian is a constructed language made by a Dutch missionary in the 1920s on the basis of synthesizing some local languages.

…[Indonesian] was devised by a Dutch linguist, based on various Malayan and Indonesian varieties…in the 1920s.

The language in Malaysia, Bahasa Malay, is a constructed language, and was designed to be easy to learn, as the various people in Malaysia and Indonesia who were told to form rather large nations after WWII needed a common language.

…every language is artificial—it just depends how many people create it. Bahasa Indonesia is also invented but by a group.

Bahasa Indonesia is essentially a constructed language designed to fool foreigners into thinking Indonesia is a monoculture.

…the other major semi-artificial language of recent times, Bahasa Indonesia, the national language of Indonesia, is a syncretic amalgamation of existing Malay dialects that were still in current use.

Even though it is basically the Malay language, [Indonesian] has in common with Esperanto…the fact of having underwent [sic] a kind of planned restructuration to simplify grammar and reduce exceptions.

With all that evidence, I was nearly convinced, though I wasn’t entirely certain what I was convinced of. This string of claims sounded a bit like the telephone game, where a message changes just a bit with each retelling. Then a little voice in the back of my head whispered, “Primary sources, Grasshopper.” Every fact on the web appears to be equally authoritative, but just because somebody says something with conviction doesn’t mean it’s true. So I went to an actual library (two of them, in fact) and looked at ancient documents known as “books”—some more than fifty years old—to see if I could get to the bottom of this story. After all, if a Dutch linguist (or missionary) did in fact invent the language, I should be able to find that person’s name. And if a committee of academics invented it, I should be able to find some record of that momentous project.

Let me cut to the chase: as with all myths, this one has a kernel of truth to it. But the claim that Indonesian is an “artificial” or “constructed” language is simply false.

This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is Island

Indonesia is an archipelago consisting of over 18,000 islands, of which about a third are inhabited. That these islands—and their greatly varying cultures and languages—should be considered a single nation is a relatively recent (and, ethnographically speaking, artificial) notion. Nevertheless, for centuries, traders sailing from one island to another have needed to communicate with each other. Malay was the local language of Malacca, a port town near the southern tip of the Malaysian peninsula. According to legend, local fisherman in Malacca developed Malay as a synthesis of several nearby languages in the late 16th century. However, written records of Malay date back as far as the 7th century, so it is more likely that the fisherman simply integrated new words into the language. (Such borrowing happens in virtually all languages, and the newly incorporated words are known as “loan words.”) In any event, Malacca was a hot spot for traders, and by the time the Dutch colonized Indonesia (then known as the Dutch East Indies) in the 17th century, Malay had already come into widespread use as the regional trade language.

During their more than three centuries of occupation, the Dutch, unsurprisingly, attempted to enforce the use of their own language for trade. In the process, Malay—as spoken in Dutch territory—picked up a number of Dutch loan words, while the Malaysian speakers of Malay developed a somewhat different vocabulary. Meanwhile, due to the influence of Islam, which had been introduced in Indonesia as far back as the 13th century, Malay also picked up a number of Arabic loan words. Because parts of Indonesia were Hindu, Sanskrit also gave numerous words to Indonesian—including “bahasa” (“language”). And since Portugal traded in Indonesia and for many years controlled East Timor, many Portuguese words also found their way into the language. In short: without question, the Indonesian variety of Malay did indeed borrow heavily from numerous other languages, but this was a natural linguistic evolution. However, there’s still more to the story.

The Language of Change

By the 1920s, public sentiment in Indonesia was turning strongly toward gaining independence from the Netherlands. In October 1928, the Sumpah Pemuda (Pledge of the Youth) proclaimed that in Indonesia, Malay was to be called “Bahasa Indonesia” and considered the national language. However, there being no nation as yet, this was more of a rallying cry than anything else. In 1945, Indonesia declared its independence from the Netherlands and stated in its constitution that Bahasa Indonesia was its official language—though it took four years of fighting before the Dutch acknowledged Indonesia’s right to self-rule. So depending on how you look at it, Indonesian became the official language in 1928, 1945, or 1949—though at that time, only a tiny percentage of the nation’s population spoke Indonesian as a first language.

Following independence, the people of Indonesia rapidly abandoned Dutch (to the extent that they had grudgingly adopted it) and began to embrace their new official tongue. It is now the first language of more than 40 million people, and a second language for over 150 million. Although these numbers are still small given Indonesia’s total population of more than 260 million, they represent astonishingly rapid growth for the language.

In 1972, the governments of Indonesia and Malaysia collaborated on a project to reform and simplify spelling for both versions of the language; this consisted largely of eliminating Dutch spellings in favor of more phonetic Malaysian spellings. Malay and Indonesian have about an 80% overlap in vocabulary and are mutually intelligible; the variations in vocabulary, pronunciation, and usage have been compared to the difference between American English and British English. Where Indonesian retains many Dutch loan words, Malay typically replaces these with words based on English.

I like Indonesian a great deal; it has such an elegant structure that it’s tempting to believe it could only have been made artificially. But in fact it’s as natural as the next language, notwithstanding its exceptional capacity for absorbing foreign vocabulary—and contributing to linguistic mythology.

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on September 17, 2004.

Image credit: Laura Pro [CC BY-SA 4.0], from Wikimedia Commons


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Author: Joe Kissell

National Word Nerd Day

Entry in a dictionary

Today, January 9, is an important national holiday—it’s my birthday, which I share with such varied figures as Dave Matthews, J.K. Simmons, Kate Middleton, and Richard Nixon. It’s also National Word Nerd Day, which I find quite appropriate, in that I certainly consider myself a word nerd. Back in elementary school, my classmates used to tease me by accusing me of reading the dictionary for fun, but I didn’t understand what was supposed to be problematic about that. Of course I read the dictionary for fun! I love learning new words, discovering the origins of words and how they evolve, and exploring the way language works. That might have had a little something to do with why I studied linguistics in grad school, and why I became an author (and later, a publisher). Yep, I love words, and if you do too, add a few new ones to your vocabulary today. I can also recommend a book you might enjoy: Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries by former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper.

Image credit: Pixabay


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Author: Joe Kissell

At your own pace: The journey through the six emotional stages of divorce

A lot of
what is written about and discussed when looking at the emotional stages of
divorce and separation is based on the five stages of grief identified by the
psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross back in 1969 in her book On Death and Dying.

And quite
rightly so. The end of a marriage or relationship is a bereavement: a loss of
the life you once had and of the future, you believed you would have.

There is
panic, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The first thing to
remember is that people do not move neatly from one stage to the next.
Sometimes you may experience all six in one day. You may find yourself stuck in
a certain stage or go back. There is no beginning, middle or end.

My advice, do not try to manage this process (it won’t work for a start) and instead move through at your own pace. There is no right or wrong way – just your way. And please do seek professional help if you are struggling with anxiety or depression from your GP.

Here are the
six stages:

Panic

Sheer panic
and fear. Your body and mind are in a state of shock, unable to comprehend that
your life as you know it has been changed forever. You may struggle to sleep,
eat and think straight. You may even have panic attacks as your mind becomes
flooded and you feel out of control.

Denial

In some
ways, denial is a useful coping mechanism. You can pretend everything is OK
rather than face the overwhelming emotions. However, don’t abuse the temporary safe
haven this gives you. You need to move to the next stage to face your fears.
You need to feel emotions to start to heal from them. Otherwise, they can
manifest in stress, anxiety and illness.

Anger

Anger is a
completely normal emotion in a stressful situation and this is the time to
release some of those emotions you suppressed in the denial phase.  My advice is let them out. Some people try to
bottle up their anger, but it will come out in other ways. Try to channel it
into something positive such as exercise, singing, yoga (anything you enjoy)
and do consider counselling for some professional advice.

However,
there are two simple rules: never in front of your children and not publicly on
social media (it will come back to haunt you). 

Bargaining

Your last
attempt to try and get the relationship back on track and you will search for
anything that you think may take you both back to where you were before.

Moving away,
having a baby, changing who you are (totally impossible) you will do anything
to get your life back and have some reassurance that the relationship can be
mended.

Depression

As the
realisation that the relationship is over starts to settle extreme feelings of
sadness and loneliness can quickly consume you. They can easily take away your
motivation and joy for everyday life, you may find yourself sat in front of the
television all day with no energy to move or eat.

But
withdrawing from the world does not work and will leave you more isolated. Call
upon friends and family for love and support to help you cope. Counselling is
also really helpful. Talk, talk, talk, cry and then cry some more. You need to
feel and release your emotions.

Acceptance

You finally
feel hope, there is light at the end of the tunnel and you realise you need to
move on with your own life.

There will
still be feelings of sadness and regret, but it is something you can live with.
You are not paralyzed by grief or fear or sadness anymore.  And whilst I cannot promise you a joyful skip
off into the sunset you are back, getting on with life and starting a new
beginning. You’ve got this.

Help & support

Finding the
right lawyer for you can make all the difference. Our divorce lawyers have
experience of advising clients throughout the divorce process. They understand
the emotional pressure that each stage brings and can support you by making the
legal side as simple as possible.

Going
through a divorce or separation can be extremely tough. If you find your
struggling with anxiety and / or depression, please do seek professional help
from your GP or visit: Relate
for practical advice and counselling options.

The post At your own pace: The journey through the six emotional stages of divorce appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: Stowe Family Law