12 of the best books to help children cope with divorce

As recent statistics from the Ministry of Justice revealed that divorce rates have gone up by 8% 2017 v 2018 and it is regularly quoted that close to 50% of marriages end, divorce is not unusual.

However, for the families behind the statistics, it is incredibly unusual. There is no set pattern, no rule book on how to deal with it and no guide on the best things to say. And whilst children will have friends whose parents have divorced and people in the wider family, depending on their age they may have no personal insight into what the term actually means.

Through my experience of working with families going through a divorce, I have seen a positive impact reading has had on children dealing with the process. There is comfort in reading for children and books can help them to understand they are not alone, it’s not that fault and that change can be for the better.

Here are my top 12 books, that I have used when working with clients and their children.  I have organised by age range.

Older children (recommended 9+)

The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson

When my parents split up they didn’t know what to do with me . . . My family always lived at Mulberry Cottage. Mum, Dad, me – and Radish, my Sylvanian rabbit. But now Mum lives with Bill the Baboon and his three kids. Dad lives with Carrie and her twins. And where do I live? I live out of a suitcase. One week with Mum’s new family, one week with Dad’s.

Deals with: having two homes, blended families

Clean Break by Jacqueline Wilson

Em adores her funny, glamorous dad – who cares if he’s not her real father? He’s wonderful to her, and to her little brother Maxie and sister Vita. True to form at Christmas, Dad gives them fantastic presents, including a real emerald ring for his little Princess Em.

Unfortunately, he’s got another surprise in store – he’s leaving them. Will Dad’s well-meaning but chaotic attempts to keep seeing Em and the other children help the family come to terms with this new crisis? Or would they be better off with a clean break – just like Em’s arm?

Deals with: rejection, absence, step-parents

Goggle Eyes by Anne Fine

Kitty Killin is not only a good storyteller but also the World’s Greatest Expert when it comes to mothers having new and unwanted boyfriends. Particularly when there’s a danger they might turn into new and unwanted stepfathers…

Deals with: new partners, step-parents

It’s not the end of the world by Judy Blume

Karen’s parents have always argued, and lately, they’ve been getting worse. But when her father announces that they’re going to get divorced, it seems as if Karen’s whole world will fall apart. Her brother, Jeff, blames their mum. Her kid sister, Amy, asks impossible questions and is scared that everyone she loves is going to leave. Karen just wants her parents to get back together. Gradually, she learns that this isn’t going to happen – and realizes that divorce is not the end of the world.

Deals with: family conflict and separation

Younger children (recommended 3-8 yrs)

Mum and Dad Glue by Kes Gray

A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. This rhyming story is brilliantly told with a powerful message that even though his parents may be broken, their love for him is not.

Deals with: coming to terms with parents’ separation

The Family Fairies by Rosemary Lucas

Rosemary’s primary aim was to provide the foundations for other adoptive families to help explain their own remarkable journeys… storytelling to help children understand that families come together in different ways.

Deals with: the adoption process

Two Homes by Claire Masurel

In this award-winning picture book classic about divorce, Alex has two homes – a home where Daddy lives and a home where Mummy lives. Alex has two front doors, two bedrooms and two very different favourite chairs. He has a toothbrush at Mummy’s and a toothbrush at Daddy’s. But whether Alex is with Mummy or Daddy, one thing stays the same: Alex is loved by them both – always. This gently reassuring story focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them. Two Homes will help children – and parents – embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart.

Deals with: parents’ separation, moving between two homes

The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman

What is a family? Once, it was said to be a father, mother, boy, girl, cat and dog living in a house with a garden. But as times have changed, families have changed too, and now there are almost as many kinds of families as colours of the rainbow – from a mum and dad or single parent to two mums or two dads, from a mixed-race family to children with different mums and dads, to families with a disabled member. This is a fresh, optimistic look through children’s eyes at today’s wide variety of family life: from homes, food, ways of celebrating, schools and holidays to getting around, jobs and housework, from extended families, languages and hobbies to pets and family trees.

Deals with: change in family dynamics, non-traditional families

Very young children (2+)

I’ll never let you go by Smriti Prasadam-Halls

When you aren’t sure, you’ll feel me near,
When you are scared, I will be here.
When you are high, when you are low,
I’ll be holding your hand and I’ll never let go.

A tender and heartfelt picture book. With reassuring words offering a message of unconditional love, and illustrations bursting with exuberance, warmth and humour.

Deals with: reassurance

Living with mum and living with dad: my two homes

Mum and Dad don’t live together any more, so sometimes this little girl lives with her mum and her cat, and sometimes she lives with her dad. She has two bedrooms and two sets of toys, but she takes her favourite toys with her wherever she goes. This simple, warm, lift-the-flap book with bold and colourful illustrations is a reassuring representation of separation for the youngest children. Melanie Walsh is sympathetically alive to the changes in routine that are familiar to many children who live with separate parents and are loved by both.

Deals with: moving between homes, changes to routine

The Family Book by Todd Parr

Some families have two moms or two dads. Some families have one parent instead of two. Some families live in a house by themselves. Some families share a house with other families. All families can help each other be strong!

The Family Book celebrates families and all the different varieties they come in. Whether they’re big or small, look alike or different, have a single parent or two, Todd Parr assures readers that every family is special in its own unique way.

Deals with: looking at different kinds of families

Guess how much I love you by Sam McBratney

Sometimes, when you love someone very, very much, you want to find a way of describing how much you treasure them. But, as Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare discover, love is not always an easy thing to measure. The story of Little and Big Nutbrown Hares’ efforts to express their love for each other.

Deals with: comfort

Get in touch

If you need support and advice on getting a divorce, please do get in touch with our Client Care Team at the details below or make an online enquiry

The post 12 of the best books to help children cope with divorce appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


Go to Source
Author: Helen Miller

The sins of social media

In any type of litigation the parties may obviously be aggrieved by a decision of the court that goes against them. However, in family litigation the sense of injustice can go much deeper, especially where children are involved. It can reach such a point that the aggrieved party may seek redress outside of the court, which they see as biased against them.

This is nothing new. Aggrieved litigants have always gone to the media to try to gain support for their case. However, more often than not of course the media are not interested, or not prepared to get involved. What has changed in recent times is that other avenues of redress have opened up for the aggrieved litigant.

I am talking, of course, about social media, whether Twitter, Facebook, blogging, YouTube or some other form. Social media has given the aggrieved litigant a potential audience beyond anything that could previously have been imagined. And there are few limitations upon what can be said on social media. Better still, you can reach that audience with great ease, by writing a few words, or by just posting a video, all from the comfort of your own home. But that ease of use can be a problem: without the ‘filter’ of having to go to the media, litigants can often get themselves into trouble before they have had a chance to consider the implications.

Obviously, the actual audience may often initially be quite small, limited to those friends and family who follow your social media account. But it doesn’t take much knowledge to widen the audience significantly, by reaching out to others with a similar grievance. And then those others only need to click a button to spread the word to their own followers. Soon your story might be known by thousands of like-minded people.

It all seems such a wonderful idea. With a few words and a few clicks of a mouse you can gather an army of supporters, ready to tackle the injustices of the biased family courts.

But this road is fraught with dangers, and it will almost certainly not provide you with the result you seek. Instead, it is only likely to damage your case, possibly fatally.

The first and obvious point to make is that the court is likely to take an extremely dim view of a party who uses social media in an attempt to undermine the authority of the court. This could well influence future decisions made by the court.

The second point to make is that children involved in family court proceedings should usually not be identified. And that also means that it should not be possible to do a ‘jigsaw’ identification, by giving sufficient details to enable them to be identified even if they are not actually named. Courts are likely to penalise anyone identifying a child involved in family proceedings.

Note that even if you use social media anonymously and do not identify any of the parties involved, there is still a very high chance that your reader/watchers/listeners (or some of them) will be able to work out who you are. It isn’t worth the risk.

And the final point I wish to make is a non-legal one. Think of the effect upon your child of what you are doing. Do they want to be at the centre of a social media storm? Do they want the intimate details of their family life exposed to public scrutiny? And remember what you are doing may deepen the rifts within their family, leaving them with scars that may remain for the rest of their lives.

Let me be clear: unless the court has expressly forbidden you from discussing your case with anyone at all, you are not expected to keep entirely silent. It is quite normal to discuss a family case with other members of your family, or close friends. In fact, such discussions can be very useful, acting both as a relief valve and a support at an extremely stressful time in one’s life (best though to ignore any ‘legal’ advice from friends and family). But you should only of course discuss your case with people that you can trust not to discuss it with others. Being impersonal, social media doesn’t usually have that protection.

The moral of the story is very simple: the only safe course is not to mention or discuss your case on social media. Don’t be tempted to rush to your computer as soon as you get back from court: think about the implications of what you are about to do.

I realise that all of the above will have been said before, including by me. But it clearly needs to be repeated. Increasing numbers of parents are continuing to fall into the trap of taking their case to the court of social media, rather than concentrating on the only court that matters: the Family Court.

The post The sins of social media appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


Go to Source
Author: John Bolch

Binaural Beats

Binaural Beats and Interaural Time Differences

The magical music of the brain

Regular readers may recall an article here about brain machines—electronic devices that use flashing lights to promote relaxation. The idea behind these machines is that brainwaves have a tendency to fall in step with stimuli of certain frequencies—a phenomenon known as entrainment. So by flashing lights at the same frequency as one’s brainwaves would have during, say, deep meditation, a machine should be able to induce a meditative state artificially. It’s a fascinating concept, and there are numerous gadgets that use light alone, or sound and light together, to induce sleep, improve learning and creativity, and perform any number of other feats.

In the course of my research for that article, I noticed that there were also products that claimed to produce exactly the same effect using sound alone. Somewhat skeptical, I put on some headphones and listened to one of the sample recordings. The next thing I knew, I was waking up, wiping the drool from my keyboard. A half hour had gone by and I never knew what hit me. Whatever happened, the effect was as surprising as it was impressive.

Beat It

I decided to investigate further. There are, it turns out, quite a few different companies selling downloadable audio files, CDs, and electronic gadgets based on the basic notion of binaural beats. Although they come in many different forms and have different claims, they all exploit an interesting quality of the brain.

If you were to listen to two musical instruments playing the same note, but slightly out of tune with each other, you may perceive a sort of warbling or vibrato effect. These cyclic pulsations are called beats, and within a small range of tunings, they get faster the farther apart the two notes are. (If the instruments are perfectly in tune, the effect is absent, and if they’re really far out of tune, then you simply hear two different notes.) It turns out that you can get exactly the same effect if you play a tone in one ear and a very slightly lower- or higher-pitched tone in the other ear. Listen to either sound individually, and it sounds normal—but listen to both together and you perceive the beats. In other words, this effect is not an acoustic one, but is produced by the brain.

The human auditory apparatus can hear sounds with a pitch as low as about 20Hz (Hertz = cycles per second), give or take a few Hertz. However, the frequency of brainwaves—particularly those associated with states of relaxation and sleep—can go much lower, even below 1Hz. So a recording of a sound at, say, 4Hz would be inaudible and would have no effect. However, if you pitch two sounds exactly 4Hz apart (say, one at 100Hz and the other at 104Hz) and play one in each ear, the brain “manufactures” a 4Hz beat. And, all things being equal, the brain will then strongly tend to fall into sync with that frequency, producing the same sort of subjective sensation as sleep. Conveniently, the range of frequency differences that can produce an audible beat corresponds roughly to the range of frequencies dominant in the brain during the sorts of relaxed states most of us enjoy.

Mixed Notes

Of course, plain out-of-tune tones aren’t especially interesting to listen to, so most publishers of binaural beat recordings mix in other sounds such as rain, waterfalls, bells, gongs, and so on. In some cases, these extra sounds completely hide the beats so that the listener is unaware of them consciously, but they still register in the brain and have the same effect.

It’s not at all difficult to record these sounds in an MP3 file or on a CD—perhaps in a progression from faster to slower beats—and numerous companies do. There are also mobile and web apps that do the same thing. These recordings and apps are billed as aids for meditation, relaxation, or self-hypnosis—and even as a legal “digital drug.” The prices range from almost nothing to thousands of dollars for a multi-year program of customized recordings. Although each company puts a unique spin on its particular method or formula, it’s virtually impossible to make fair comparisons because what you have to judge is ultimately a subjective experience. That US$15 recording might produce an effect that, for you, is just as good as what you’d get by spending several hundred dollars—then again, it might not. It’s reasonable to expect better and more reliable results from larger companies that employ neuroscientists and psychologists and do actual testing of their products’ effects on human brainwave patterns.

I have invested only a little time—and no money—into a few limited experiments on myself with binaural beats. My results have been modest at best—perhaps I get what I pay for. Still, my experience suggests that this technology has a lot of potential. And it’s certainly a lot less goofy-looking than sunglasses with blinking LEDs mounted on the inside. So the next time you see someone on the train wearing headphones and apparently zoned out, remember: you might be looking at a great spiritual master in training.

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on October 13, 2004.

Image credit: Skyhead E [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons


Go to Source
Author: Joe Kissell

Helping you understand the benefits of a prenuptial agreement

Every marriage is different. Some couples just dive into the process, believing that their love is strong enough to keep their marriage going. Others seek to talk things out before entering their union. And even some prefer to take the time to talk things out and plan for the future and if the marriage ends in divorce. Although it is not a romantic topic to discuss before marriage, deciding on a prenuptial agreement can help the couple address potential divorce issues if the marriage fails.

Although it is commonplace to have a prenuptial agreement to address a divorce if one were to occur in the future, this is not always the case. Some couples use a premarital agreement much like one does a financial plan. Today, more and more couples are worried about their finances and protecting them the moment he or she gets married.

At Katie L. Lewis, P.C., Family Law, our skilled legal team can help you better understand the role of a prenuptial agreement. They all do not look the same. However, these documents must follow certain laws when it comes to ensuring that it was executed properly and is valid.

Our law firm takes the time to explain the benefits a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can have. We highlight the issues that are commonly overlooked, such as the value of property increasing over time. Finally, we help our clients navigate any obstacles or issues they may encounter when drafting or enforcing these marital documents.

To learn more, check out our law firm’s prenuptial agreement website. Whether you seek to include a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement in a marriage, it is important to understand what these documents look like and what they can do. Additionally, if a premarital document is challenged or you seek to invalidate it, it is vital to know what steps can be taken in these matters.


Go to Source
Author: On behalf of Katie L. Lewis of Katie L. Lewis, P.C. Family Law

More marriages, more mediations, and more divorces

Last week was what I call ‘statistics week’, the week when we are treated to an avalanche of the most recent available statistics for all sorts of family law related things, including on this occasion marriages, legal aid and the Family Court. So, what did this latest instalment of facts and figures add to the sum of our knowledge?

I’ll begin with the statistics for marriages. Specifically, these are for marriages in England and Wales, for the year 2016. They come from the Office for National Statistics (‘ONS’). Amongst the headline points were the following:

  • There were 249,793 marriages in England and Wales, 1.7% more than in 2015, but 1.0% fewer than in 2014.
  • 97.2% of all marriages were between opposite-sex couples and 2.8% were between same-sex couples.
  • There were 7,019 marriages between same-sex couples, an increase of 8.1% from 2015; of these marriages, 55.7% were between female couples.
  • Marriage rates for opposite-sex couples were lower at all ages compared with 2006, except for men aged 60 years and over and women aged 50 years and over.

The main point to take from this, I think, is that, as the ONS statistician comments, despite the small increase, marriage rates remain at historical lows. This can perhaps be seen most dramatically by a graph included with the statistics showing the number of marriages of opposite-sex couples in England and Wales from 1935 to 2016. Until 1972 the graph generally remained around the 400,000 figure, but since then it has generally been on a downward spiral (of course the overall figures have been ‘buoyed’ over the last two of those years by same-sex marriages). Marriage, it is clear, will never again be the ‘expectation in life’ that it once was. Whether this is a good or bad thing will, of course, depend upon your point of view (it may also be the case that more couples will in future ‘tie the knot’, when civil partnerships become available to opposite-sex couples).

Next up, the legal aid statistics, which were from the Ministry of Justice, for the quarter October to December 2018. Sadly, these days legal aid is not particularly relevant to private family law matters, so there is not a lot to say about these statistics. Probably the most important thing relates to mediation. We are told that:

“In family mediation, Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) increased by 4% in the last quarter compared to the previous year and currently stand at just over a third of pre-LASPO levels. Starts increased by 6% although outcomes increased by 5%, and are now sitting at around half of pre-LASPO levels.”

In plain English, the number of mediations is up a little bit, but is still at half what it was before legal aid was abolished. So I suppose a little bit of good news there, although clearly it is going to take a long time before mediation, which was supposed to ‘replace’ legal aid, will even return to what it was before the legal aid cuts. As I have said here before, hardly a ringing endorsement for the government’s ‘flagship’ policy.

And lastly I turn to the Family Court statistics, also from the Ministry of Justice, for the quarter October to December 2018. Amongst the main points here were the following:

  • 64,331 new cases started between October and December, up 6% on October to December 2017. For the year as a whole 262,399 new cases started during 2018, up 3% compared to 2017.
  • There was an increase in the number of private law children cases started (8%) and cases disposed (3%) to 12,986 and 10,478 respectively. For the year as a whole there were 51,658 Private law cases started in 2018, up 2% compared to 2017. The number of Private law cases disposed was 41,939 in 2018, similar to the number in 2017.
  • In 2018, it took on average 26 weeks for Private law cases to reach a final order, i.e. case closure, up three weeks compared to 2017.
  • There were 118,141 divorce petitions made during 2018, up 8% on 2017 – more in line with the number of petitions seen annually prior to the low number in 2017.

So in short, more cases, taking longer. Not very good news, either for the users of the Family Courts, or for those who work in them.

You can find the marriage statistics here, the legal aid statistics here, and the Family Court statistics here.

The post More marriages, more mediations, and more divorces appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


Go to Source
Author: John Bolch

Celebrating Our 16th Birthday

A 16th birthday balloon

Wow, it seems like a mere 12 months ago that I was writing about our 15th birthday! Websites, like kids, grow up so fast!

Although this site has indeed been around since April 1, 2003 (and no, it wasn’t/isn’t an April Fools’ joke—that just happened to be a convenient date), it spent much of that time in a zombie-like state of ambiguous not-quite-deadness. Last year, I finally managed to resurrect it for real, and for each of the past 365 days we’ve had freshly updated content. Yay! So I thought I’d take a moment to bring our readers up to speed about a few things.

A Year (or So) of Progress

First, let me say thank you for reading! Some people stumble on one of our articles during a web search, while others subscribe via email or RSS, or follow us on Twitter, and a few just like coming back to the site every day. However you got here, we’re glad to have you! We hope we’re able to provide a few minutes of enjoyable infotainment every day.

This past year has turned out a bit differently than I was imagining. Careful readers will have noticed that most of the articles we’ve published have been updated versions of our “classic” articles from 2003–2007. I was expecting to dole those out more slowly, but for a variety of reasons it seemed wiser to get rid of stale content—outdated information, broken links (oh, so many broken links!), and text that offends our older-and-wiser sensibilities. We repurposed some old SenseList content, too. We also retired quite a few articles that just needed to die—either they simply weren’t interesting anymore, or they were about things that no longer exist, or they would have required a complete rewrite to be publishable.

Within a couple of months, all the remaining classic articles (and the SenseList stuff we want to keep) will have been either updated or sent to live on a farm in the country. Then we’ll turn our attention fully to brand new content, though as I mentioned last year, our new-from-scratch articles will mostly be much shorter, because there are only so many hours in the day.

Can You Hear Me Now? No. (Sorry.)

I’ve received a lot of email since last year asking what happened to the audio recordings we used to have. Previously, every article included a recording of yours truly reading it (and doing my best not to butcher all the words in French, German, Chinese, Norwegian, and so on). It turned out that these recordings were especially popular among English learners, because they could listen to the audio and follow along with the perfectly matched text, thus picking up clues about colloquial English writing and pronunciation at the same time. But the audio disappeared with the site redesign, and that made a lot of people unhappy.

I’m sorry about that. I wish I could have kept the recordings, but it was impossible. The whole idea (and, indeed, the thing that made them attractive to English learners) was that the audio matched the text. But now all the text either has changed or is about to change, so in order for the audio recordings to match once again, I’d have to re-record (and edit) all of them, something that is incompatible with my already much-too-full schedule. As a matter of fact, knowing that would have to happen was one of the main things that kept me from redoing the site for so long—I couldn’t figure out when I’d ever have the time to deal with all that audio, and I wasn’t willing to break the connection between the audio and the text, or leave embarrassingly outdated info in the recordings. So I got stuck. It was only by deciding to ditch the audio that I was able to bring the site back at all, and though I’m sad to have left the audio in the past, I’m glad the site is once again viable.

That said, I have been thinking about compiling chunks of articles from this site into an actual book (well, I mean, there’s enough content for several books), and if I did that, I would certainly consider offering an audiobook version as well. I’m not sure I’ll have time to do that, but having plenty of updated content certainly would make that job easier, and that’s another of the reasons I decided to focus on refreshing old content before adding new. So, we’ll see. In theory, I’d also like to do a podcast, but again, it’s a question of time.

In and Out

Last April we started listing (mostly informal) “holidays” on the site, like National Donut Day and World Sleep Day. I thought it would be fun, and it was, but very few people bothered to read about them, so I don’t feel as though that time was well spent. As of today, the faux holidays are gone, and in their place we have a new Book of the Week feature, which more often than not will be a Take Control title, in that running the company that publishes those books is my actual day job! Because I’m such a nice guy, I’m offering readers of Interesting Thing of the Day a 30% discount on all our Take Control ebooks. They’re all designed to help ordinary, nontechnical people overcome problems with technology, and I hope you find them helpful!

There are several other things on my to do list for Interesting Thing of the Day, too—including new types of content that I think will be both fun and useful, and at the risk of repeating myself, the only barrier to implementing them is the number of hours in the day. Since I don’t know for sure which of these things will happen or when, I shan’t promise anything, but the more interest people show in the site, the more likely I am to squeeze in some extra hours working on it.

One thing you have not seen here in the past year, and still don’t, is ads. Because, frankly, I just hate ads. I run ad blockers on all my devices, and if you don’t, you should! Ads are, in some respect, a necessary evil, but lately I’ve felt they’re more evil than necessary. So there aren’t any on this site, and it simply isn’t part of my plan to use ads to support our content. I mean, unless you consider articles and blurbs about other books we publish to be ads, in which case Oh Yes You Will See More of Those. But those are just us telling you about our own stuff. We don’t let third parties display any content on our site, and we don’t do any surreptitious tracking or other privacy-violating stuff, because ewwwww. So if you like reading good material with no ads and want to support us, you know, buy some books! We’d really appreciate that.

Image credit: Jim, the Photographer [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr


Go to Source
Author: Joe Kissell

Take Control of Backing Up Your Mac

Take Control of Backing Up Your Mac cover

This week we’re instituting a new feature: our Book of the Week. Because the people behind Interesting Thing of the Day also run Take Control Books, many of the featured titles will be from our collection of tech books for nontechnical people, and of those, a fair percentage were written by our own Joe Kissell. To make the books even more attractive, we’re offering a 30% discount on all Take Control books to Interesting Thing of the Day readers (after you click one of the links in this post, the discount will be applied automatically when you check out…or you can manually enter coupon code ITOTD). From time to time we’ll also feature books by authors we know, and other titles that we just think are especially noteworthy.

Our first weekly book is just for Mac users, so if you don’t have a Mac, there’s nothing to see here (but stay tuned…we’ll have some good options for you in future weeks). It’s called Take Control of Backing Up Your Mac, and it’s a comprehensive, up-to-date, and user-friendly guide to keeping all the data on your Mac safe from any of a thousand things that could endanger it (including theft, fires, floods, and even good old-fashioned human error). This book will teach you about various types of backup, how to choose backup media, how to pick and configure backup software, and much more…including, crucially, how to restore data if disaster strikes. You’ll learn about the pros and cons of Apple’s Time Machine app, why and how to clone your disk or SSD onto an external volume, and what you should be aware of when considering a cloud backup system. And that’s just the beginning. If you have Mac backup questions, this book almost certainly has the answers. Don’t wait until it’s too late—protect your data right now with an excellent backup plan!

This book, like all Take Control titles, comes as an ebook, and you can download any combination of formats—PDF, EPUB, and/or Kindle’s Mobipocket format—so you can read it on pretty much any computer, smartphone, tablet, or ebook reader. The cover price is $14.99, but as an Interesting Thing of the Day reader, you can buy it this week for 30% off, or just $10.49. In fact, we can do even better than that, but just through Monday, April 1, 2019. Since we’re still running our World Backup Day sale, for today only, it’s just $5. Pick up your copy before this special sale ends!


Go to Source
Author: Joe Kissell

The Skin Project

Human arm tattooed with the word fur

Short story as body art

Here in urban California, if you want to appear inconspicuous in public, the best way to do so is to wear leather, dye your hair in fluorescent colors, and have all your visible skin tattooed, pierced, or both. I exaggerate, of course—but I think we can all agree that in much of the western world, body art is big these days. Personally, I find the notion of permanently altering my appearance unappealing. My tastes in clothing, hair styles (and colors), and so on change over time, so I don’t want to lock myself into a look I might feel less enthusiastic about in a few years. There’s also the whole issue of pain, which, all things being equal, I prefer to avoid. If I ever were to have a tattoo, though, it would have to be both discreet and very meaningful—something more than mere decoration.

One artist is using tattoos on human skin as a medium for literature rather than images, and in an extremely unconventional manner at that. In 2003, New York author Shelley Jackson wrote a 2,095-word story titled “Skin,” which she refers to as a “mortal piece of art.” By the time the project is finished, each word of the story will have been tattooed on a different person’s body; over 500 of the tattoos (and possibly many more) have been completed, using participants from around the world.

Jackson last updated the project’s status page in April 2011, and I don’t know what progress has occurred since then. However, in March 2011, just before that last public update, Jackson had an exhibit at the Berkeley Art Museum featuring a video of a subset of the Skin Project’s participants—each person saying their word (in some cases, multiple times) and showing their tattoo, with the words cut together into a different story of about 900 words.

I Give You My Word

Someone who encounters one of the “words,” as she calls the participants, will be able to read at most one word, along with any adjacent punctuation. Volunteers must sign a contract stating that they will receive a tattoo of whichever word Jackson assigns them (in black ink and in a classic book font) and that they will send her a photograph of the finished tattoo as well as a portrait of themselves that does not show the tattoo. Jackson further stipulates that if a volunteer receives a word that could be considered a body part (“back,” say), that word must be tattooed on another part of the body. Only after the tattoo is finished does the participant get a copy of the entire story, which, according to the contract, must be kept secret.

Jackson’s intention is that the complete story never be published or revealed to the general public in any fashion; only those who receive the tattoos get to read the entire piece. However, when the work is finished, Jackson hopes to arrange portraits of the participants (not showing the tattoos) in the order in which their words appear in the story, complete with paragraph breaks. When a “word” dies, according to Jackson, the story will change—and she will attempt to attend the funeral, though she expects most of the words to outlive her. When all the words have died, the work as a whole will be dead.

Going With the Flow

The idea for Jackson’s human work of literature came partly from the art of Andy Goldsworthy, the subject of the 2001 documentary Rivers and Tides. Goldsworthy uses only natural materials for his pieces, including icicles, leaves, rocks, and dirt. Many of his works melt within hours, disappear with the next tide, or float away in the river (hence the film’s title). And yet the ephemeral nature of the art is precisely what he means to explore. In Jackson’s story, meanwhile, not only is the work as a whole temporary, but all of its components are also autonomous.

Although my tastes in art tend toward the conventional—and I still do not have the slightest interest in getting a tattoo myself—I find something about these organic works of art strangely compelling. If Jackson decides to do an even more ephemeral sequel called “Nails” or “Hair,” perhaps I’ll volunteer to become a word myself.

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on January 14, 2005.

Image credit: Logan Baird [CC-SA 3.0], via Wikipedia


Go to Source
Author: Joe Kissell

World Backup Day

An external hard drive

Every year, March 31—the day before April Fools’ Day (so it’s easy to remember)—is World Backup Day. Speaking as someone who has written quite a lot about backups (like Take Control of Backing Up Your Mac) and Wirecutter’s redundantly titled The Best Online Cloud Backup Service, this is an annual observance I can truly get behind. If you aren’t 100% positive that all your data (files, photos, contacts, email, etc.) could be completely restored even if, say, a space station fell on your house, now’s the time to get your digital life in order. There are lots of ways to back up your devices, and some are better than others, but something is better than nothing.

Save 67%! This weekend only (through April 1), my book Take Control of Backing Up Your Mac is on sale for just $5—that’s 67% off the $14.99 cover price! If you’re a Mac user, I hope you’ll take advantage of this occasion to learn the best ways to keep your data safe.

Image credit: Marco Verch [CC BY 2.0], via Flickr


Go to Source
Author: Joe Kissell