How Depression Can Mimic Credit Card Debt and How to Deal Effectively

I have to say that I really like my therapist, and that she gets me and how my mind works, and therapy with her has been so helpful for me. Sometimes, though, she shares an insight with me that speaks to me so well that I feel the need to share it with others. And that happened in our session today.

One of the things I struggle with a lot is feeling negatively about myself, and because of


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Author: Penniless Parenting

Healthy Survival Cooking

I find survivalism very fascinating. Its useful when you go camping or just to save money. But what about when a disaster really strikes? Here’s some tips from a reader on how to prepare healthy food when there is a disaster that affects your food prep abilities.

Image Source: www.gonescamping.com

When disaster strikes, you may not have the luxury of going on with your everyday cooking


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Author: Penniless Parenting

Solar Sails

ATK Space Systems' Solar Sail during testing at the Plumbrook Test Facility in Sandusky, OH

The next big thing in space travel

If you wanted to cross the ocean by ship, you’d probably choose an engine-driven vessel over a sail-driven vessel. The engine will get you where you’re going faster; it enables the ship to be much larger than it could be if it were driven by a sail; and it requires much less manual intervention to keep it going. Besides, you won’t be at the mercy of unpredictable winds. In oceangoing vessels, the technological progression from sails to internal-combustion engines solved a great many problems while creating only a few new ones, such as the need to obtain and store significant quantities of fuel and the pollution that results from burning that fuel. Of course, since the planet is conveniently spherical, you’re always a finite distance from the nearest port where you can fill up. If, on the other hand, you wanted to circumnavigate the globe without stopping for fuel, sails would be the way to go. The trip would take longer and the ship would be smaller, but you’d never have to worry about running out of gas.

This is the very thinking behind an ostensibly retro design for spacecraft: by ditching the fuel and engines you can enable much longer journeys, albeit with some trade-offs. Outfit your ship with a giant sheet of lightweight and highly reflective material, and you’ve got a solar sail, a propulsion system that can take you to the distant reaches of the galaxy without any fuel—pushing you along with the gentle power of light from the sun.

What Goes Around

Solar sails are by no means a new idea. In fact, German astronomer Johannes Kepler floated the idea by Galileo in 1610. Kepler imagined “heavenly breezes,” though, and had no concept of the scientific principles that would actually come into play. In 1871, James Clerk Maxwell, a Scottish physicist, predicted that electromagnetic radiation (including light) should exert a small amount of pressure when an object absorbs or reflects it; Russian physicist Peter Lebedev first demonstrated the effect in a laboratory in 1900.

A little more than 20 years later, another Russian physicist named Fridrikh Tsander proposed using this radiation pressure to push a spacecraft along using a large but very thin mirror. In the early 1970s, NASA funded research into solar sails, and for a while proposed that they be used to propel a probe that would rendezvous with Halley’s Comet in 1986 (though the necessary technology turned out to be unavailable at the time). Today, NASA and numerous other groups are actively developing solar sail designs, and several spacecraft powered by solar sails have already been deployed.

Light Pressure

The whole idea of light exerting pressure seems counterintuitive. I’ve personally stood in front of some very bright spotlights without so much as a wobble. And I know from my rudimentary understanding of physics that photons, the particles that make up light, have no mass. Nevertheless, under the right circumstances, light can indeed provide a push. The math, frankly, is beyond me, but according to scientists who seem to know what they’re talking about and can back it up with impressive-looking equations, photons do indeed exert a gentle pressure on objects they hit—and the pressure is roughly twice as great if the object reflects the light than if it absorbs the light, so solar sails would effectively be giant mirrors. But the key word here is gentle. I’ve read various analogies for the strength of the sun’s push, but one I particularly liked, on a NASA webpage, said that if you had a mirror the size of a football field, the pressure of the sun’s light would be about the same as the weight of a first-class letter.

In space, a small amount of pressure goes much further, because other factors such as gravity, air friction, and wind don’t get in the way. Even so, if a solar sail is going to push a spacecraft of any significant mass, it must be enormous. And therein lies a problem: with greater size comes greater mass—not so much from the sail itself but from the support structure that’s needed to keep it rigid and connect it to craft’s payload. The greater the mass to be pushed, the greater the size of the sail that’s needed, and so on. Thus, in solar sail design, thinner and lighter materials are almost always better. Sail thickness is measured in micrometres (µm)—millionths of a meter—with some being as thin as 2 µm. (By comparison, the average human hair is about 80 µm thick.) This brings up a second problem: fragility. You’ve got to fold or roll up a huge sheet of material that’s a zillionth of an inch thick, get it into space, and then unfurl it perfectly—without ripping or mutilating it, and without creating a support structure so massive that it’ll cancel out the sail’s low mass. One promising material is a type of porous carbon fiber that’s much thicker than the polymer films most researchers have used, and yet lighter in weight because of its unusual structure; it’s also highly rigid, durable, and heat-resistant.

Still More Uses for the Force

Proposed solar sail designs have used a wide variety of shapes, from simple squares to disks to pinwheels. As with wind sails, you can change the angle of a solar sail in order to steer the craft; designs that incorporate numerous smaller sails provide greater directional control. But one thing you will not see is a solar sail shaped like a parachute—since light travels in straight lines, that would make for a highly inefficient design. Interestingly, that’s exactly the shape of a certain fictional solar sail—the one used by Count Dooku’s spaceship in Star Wars: Episode II—Attack of the Clones.

Besides having an inappropriately shaped sail, that ship somehow managed to zip across the galaxy at a startling speed as soon as the sail unfurled. Real solar sails, because they generate so little force, accelerate quite slowly. On the other hand—and this is what makes them an intriguing option for long-term missions—the velocity continues to increase over time, there being no friction to counteract it. The result is that over a period of months or years, a craft powered by a solar sail could reach speeds far in excess of any rocket-powered design. However, as the craft gets farther and farther away from the sun, the radiation pressure also decreases, so it’s not as though the rate of acceleration can continue to increase indefinitely. Even so, a vehicle with a very lightweight solar sail could reach the orbit of Pluto in about 7 years. (The Pioneer 10 probe, launched in 1972, took 11 years to reach that point.)

Sail On

After many years of ground-based and suborbital testing, as well as a few noteworthy failures, an interplanetary solar sail spacecraft (Japan’s IKAROS probe) was first successfully deployed in 2010. NASA launched the NanoSail-D2 later in 2010. And The Planetary Society launched and successfully tested a small solar sail-powered spacecraft called LightSail 1 in 2015; LightSail 2 is scheduled to launch in June, 2019. Numerous other solar sail projects are in various stages of planning.

Among the future missions envisioned for spacecraft propelled by solar sails are probes sent to explore the inner planets, monitoring stations near the sun, and deep-space exploration. Some proposals even use a giant laser here on Earth, instead of the sun, to push the craft along. Manned missions, however, are a much more distant possibility; a spaceship big enough to hold passengers would require an unfathomably gargantuan sail, and the slow acceleration would be rather inconvenient considering human lifespans. But if we ever encounter a ship sent a long time ago from a galaxy far, far away, it may very well have been carried along by a solar sail.

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on June 19, 2006.


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Author: Joe Kissell

Take Control of Your Digital Legacy

Take Control of Your Digital Legacy cover

How do you want to be remembered by future generations? You can make a will to handle your physical possessions, but what about your digital life—photos, videos, email, documents, and the like? What about all your passwords, social media accounts, backups, and every other aspect of your digital life? Over the years, I got so many questions about this sort of thing that I decided to write a book about it—Take Control of Your Digital Legacy—and it has turned out to be one of my post popular titles.

If you’re not at the stage of life where you can think about this for yourself, consider that you may have to do so for your parents or other relatives. It’s not all about posterity either, since following my advice will also help loved ones access your key accounts and important info if you’re incapacitated, which can happen at any time—or even if you just decide to go on a long vacation.

This book, like all Take Control titles, comes as an ebook, and you can download any combination of formats—PDF, EPUB, and/or Kindle’s Mobipocket format—so you can read it on pretty much any computer, smartphone, tablet, or ebook reader. The cover price is $15, but as an Interesting Thing of the Day reader, you can buy it for 30% off, or just $10.50.


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Author: Joe Kissell

Look Who We Found!!!

 

Look who we found!!!!

We were so worried about our dog and the kids were petrified that she’d be hit by a car or something…

An hour ago we got a call from a girl who isn’t a dog person but thought they found her. She sent us this picture of her and I wanted to be doubly sure it was her because we had a few false alarms (never knew there were so many dogs that looked like her) but wasn’t


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Author: Penniless Parenting

How to use technology to reduce child custody complications

When parents go through a divorce, one of their primary concerns is how they can protect the interests of their children. Divorce is an emotionally challenging process for every member of the family, especially for young kids who do not fully understand what is happening. It is important to provide stability and continuity of lifestyle as much as possible.

A strong custody order and reasonable parenting plan is a crucial step in your efforts to protect your kids as much as possible. However, it is also smart to find ways to co-parent peacefully in order to reduce the chance of post-divorce complications as much as possible. There are specific tools that can help you in your effort to make post-divorce parenting as easy as possible.

Is an app the right solution?

Simply because a divorce is over does not mean that remaining difficult feelings between parents will magically go away. Co-parenting is not easy, and it can take a while to adjust to the emotional implications of your children not being with you all the time, as well as the logistics of keeping up with various schedules. There are specific apps that can allow you to easily and more effectively manage custody schedules, including the following:

  • Google Calendar
  • Cozi
  • coParenter
  • CutsodyJunction

These calendars can allow multiple users, such as you and your ex-spouse, to clearly view the same calendar. You can schedule drop-off and pick-up times, meetings, changes in schedule, school events, sporting events and more. This can reduce complications and confusion, which in turn, often leads to less conflict.

When parents are in communication and there is a good system in place, it can make post-divorce life much easier for the kids. There is evidence that allowing the kids to have strong relationships with both parents after divorce is best, and using some of these technological tools can help you do that.

Starting with a good custody plan

If you want to make your post-divorce life easier and more stable for your children, it is important to pursue custody and visitation terms that make practical sense. Smart, thorough plans are better for everyone, but you may have to set aside your personal feelings in order to compromise and keep the needs of the children first.

Due to the sensitive nature of any child custody issue, you will find it beneficial to speak with an experienced family law attorney regarding your parental rights. He or she can help you understand how you can seek a custody plan that will work for your family for years to come.


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Author: On behalf of Katie L. Lewis of Katie L. Lewis, P.C. Family Law

Stowe guests: Three tips to help children through divorce

In this instalment of Stowe guests, we catch-up back again with Claire Black from Claire Black Divorce Coaching.

Today, she joins us with three tips on how to support your children through divorce (they also work well for adults). Over to Claire to explain more…

I see a lot of clients who are worried about the impact their divorce may have on their children, and they ask how they can best support their children through the process.  Many of the techniques I use with my clients are simple and work brilliantly with children, with very positive results.

Here are three of my favourites:

Help them to find the upside

I worked with a mum recently whose daughter was finding it very difficult to adjust to life after her parents’ relationship broke down.  My client felt that she wasn’t best equipped to help her daughter handle her emotions at a time when she too felt bereft and low.

We worked together to find the upside, and to reframe how my client could look at her situation so that she could see a different perspective.

“Flip it to find the positive, and concentrate on that” – Sara Davison, the Divorce Coach

You can help your children to do this too.  Try asking your child:

  • If there was one tiny upside to this, what would it be?
  • If you could see a silver lining, what would it be?
  • If there was just one good thing about this, what would it be?
  • What are you glad about today?

These are fabulous questions that can help your child to see a positive even if it is only small right now.  I used to look for the upside all the time during my own divorce, and it really helped to be able to see glimmers of light.  When you practice asking these questions, it becomes a habit and gives you a whole new way of approaching any challenge.

My client’s daughter responded that she enjoyed going swimming with Daddy on her own last week and that they’d had fun in the park on Saturday.  She was also enjoying the opportunity to do more craft activities with her Mum when they had time together.

Your child might resist and say there is nothing good about this at all, but persevere, “I know it might not be obvious, but if there was one good thing about this, what would it be?”.  You could give them your examples of the tiny good things:  it could be that you can now cook with ginger whenever you fancy, or that you don’t need to watch EastEnders any more. And show them that you can find the upside yourself.  Watch them follow your lead.

Show them how changing how they stand can change how they feel

“The way you move determines the way you feel” – Tony Robbins

Sometimes all that is needed to kickstart a change in mood is to change your physiology.

Have you ever felt low and fed up, but then done something silly or fun, or jumped up and down or struck a power pose – and immediately felt better?  It may not seem like the obvious thing to do, and you might resist doing it at first, but I promise it will make a difference.

I have been known to get clients to jump up and down 5 times, or strike a Superman pose in the middle of a session.  Or I get them to stand with their arms outstretched and put a massive grin on their face.

If you haven’t tried this for yourself, do it now!  See what happens.  Try it with your children.  If nothing else, you will have a laugh together – which will send endorphins, the feel-good hormones, flowing around your body.

Show them how to be in ‘control of the clicker’

“Whenever I’d complain or was upset about something in my own life, my mother had the same advice – darling, just change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t replay the bad, scary movie” – Arianna Huffington

Wise words!

Your brain will try to answer the questions you ask it.  When you ask questions like “why is this happening to me?”, “what did I do to deserve this?”, “will this never end?”, the answers can cause your mood to spiral downwards very quickly.  If it can spiral down that quickly, then asking better questions can reverse that downwards movement.

I spend time with clients creating lists of better questions to ask themselves, such as:

  • What would my best friend advise me right now?
  • What would help me to feel better today?
  • What am I grateful for today?
  • What choices do I have right now?
  • What have I done that I am proud of?

Often clients write their questions onto post-it notes and stick them up around their house, to remind them to ask those better questions.  These questions work equally well with children, and they encourage them to model the resilience that you are showing yourself.

Children learn by experience and by modelling the behaviours they see in those around them.  When children see and model a parent who is calm and collected, who responds with dignity in a crisis, and who has strategies to handle stress and challenge, they too grow in resilience and confidence. By passing on techniques and tips to your children, you empower them to process what is happening and move forward themselves.

The post Stowe guests: Three tips to help children through divorce appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: Stowe Family Law

A week in family law: Reviewing child protection, child abduction and a new Cafcass Chief Executive

My top three stories from the last week in family law.

Perhaps the biggest story of the week came from the Ministry of Justice (‘MoJ’), which announced in a press release that a panel of experts will review how the family courts protect children and parents in cases of domestic abuse and other serious offences. We were told that: “The three-month project aims to ensure that the family court works first and foremost in the explicit interests of the child, such as their safety, health and well-being.” Now, I know that things can always be improved, but I think the MoJ could have chosen their words better here, as the welfare of the child is already of course paramount. The release goes on to tell us that:  “The MoJ-chaired panel will consist of a range of experts including senior members of the judiciary, leading academics and charities. A public call for evidence will also be launched imminently and will look to those with direct involvement to share their experiences.” The move follows responses received through the government’s domestic abuse consultation, in which concerns were raised about the family courts’ response to potential harm to children and victims. In addition to calls for better protections for children, some claim that domestic abusers are using the court system to re-traumatise their victims. Justice Minister Paul Maynard commented: “Some of the most vulnerable in our society come before the family courts, and I am absolutely determined that we offer them every protection. This review will help us better understand victims’ experiences of the system, and make sure the family court is never used to coerce or re-traumatise those who have been abused. Its findings will be used to inform next steps so we can build on the raft of measures we have already introduced to protect victims of domestic abuse.” Hmm.

As I reported here, Mr Justice MacDonald has ruled that a mother’s actions in bringing her three year old daughter Ruby to England from Australia without the father’s consent “represented a blatant and premeditated act of child abduction.” The mother brought Ruby to this country in September last year. She then purchased a camper van and proceeded to tour the country with Ruby, eventually ending up in the Outer Hebrides, where she lived for two months during October and November 2018. The father applied to the court for an order that Ruby be returned to Australia. However, Ruby’s whereabouts were not known, so the court made an order permitting details of the case to be reported in the media, in an effort to locate her. Ruby was subsequently found, following extensive media coverage. Hearing the case in the High Court Mr Justice MacDonald said that he was satisfied that the mother sought to go to ground in the Outer Hebrides in an effort to avoid detection. He held that the mother had no defence to the father’s application, and therefore ordered that Ruby be returned to Australia. As I said in my post, hopefully, this case will act as a warning against parents seeking to avoid the law in the way that the mother did here.

And finally, Cafcass has announced that Jacky Tiotto will be replacing Anthony Douglas as its Chief Executive, when Mr Douglas retires in the autumn. Ms Tiotto is currently Director of Children’s Services at the London Borough of Bexley. Commenting on her new role, she said: “Being offered the opportunity to lead Cafcass as their new Chief Executive is a complete privilege. I will take great care to do it well so that the lives and futures of children, young people, families and carers continue to be the greatest priority for all of us working to support them. The protection of children, the needs and experiences of families and the responsibilities of the State in this regard are issues of huge importance to our society and for me personally. Cafcass negotiates these issues on behalf of children within the family courts on a daily basis. The demand and complexity of the work cannot be underestimated and I am delighted to be able to lead the organisation and to learn from its work as we continue to give a loud and authentic voice to the children who need and deserve our help.” I wish her well.

Have a good weekend and Spring bank holiday.

The post A week in family law: Reviewing child protection, child abduction and a new Cafcass Chief Executive appeared first on Stowe Family Law.


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Author: John Bolch

___-of-the-Month Clubs

An open cardboard box

Old marketing gimmicks never die

Hark back with me to the Dark Years (or the Good Old Days, depending on your point of view)—the time before any object a person desired could be delivered to one’s door within days (if not hours), with no more effort than a few taps on a smartphone screen. I’m old enough to remember a time before Amazon.com—indeed, before the internet itself—when discovering, locating, and procuring a variety of any particular type of merchandise actually presented a challenge. Way back in the days when we had to wait for checks to clear and then allow 6–8 weeks for delivery, the notion that a previously unknown specimen of one of our favorite things would arrive automagically on our doorstep once a month was quite compelling.

I had experienced, and then long forgotten about, thing-of-the-month clubs when, in the early 2000s, my Christmas gift from my mother was a subscription to the Fruit of the Month Club. Once each month, Airborne Express arrived at our door with a box of fresh fruit. The selection changed each month. In December, for example, it was Mandarin oranges; in April it was kiwi and pineapple. The fruit was always of good quality, and the shipments were just infrequent enough that I was always slightly surprised when each package arrived. Although the shipments were fairly small, they were always a welcome treat that didn’t require a trip to the market—and the subscription was something I never would have thought to purchase for myself.

They Deliver for Me

Before my fruit started arriving, I had heard of the Book-of-the-Month Club but had only a vague notion that other kinds of things were available on a monthly subscription plan. Now, however, I seem to find ___-of-the-month clubs every time I turn around. In most cases, the general idea is the same: for a fixed fee, you get a six- or twelve-month subscription, with a different selection of your chosen product arriving each month. This can be an easy way to experience new tastes and broaden your horizons a bit. (You can also, of course, have Amazon or another retailer automatically send you refills of exactly the same staple items on the schedule of your choice, but that’s different from having someone select a different item in a given category for a monthly surprise.)

What other sorts of ___-of-the-month clubs are there? A quick web search turned up hundreds, ranging from the delightful to the bizarre. Things you can receive by monthly subscription include: candles, chocolate, coffee, cookies, craft beer, fruit, gourmet cheese, hot sauce, jam, leggings, oysters, pasta, pastries, pickles, potato chips, socks, tea, trout flies, wine…well, I could go on, but you get the idea. I haven’t seen armchair-of-the-month or vaccine-of-the-month clubs, but with very few exceptions, it appears one can now receive a curated monthly example of virtually any item needed for survival or leisure by subscription.

Reader’s Dozen

And then, of course, there are books, the item-of-the-month that started it all. The original Book-of-the-Month Club was founded in 1926, designed as a way to get new books into the hands of people living in rural areas without easy access to bookstores or libraries. A panel of judges selected a new volume each month, sent at a respectable discount to subscribers. The following year, The Literary Guild—another variation on the same theme—started business. Many decades later, after a series of mergers and acquisitions, both clubs still exist. If you enjoy reading the types of books the book-of-the-month club offers, it can be a convenient way to stay on top of the latest bestsellers and keep your library well-stocked at a reasonable price. As for me, I already accumulate books far faster than I can read them, so I’m more likely to subscribe to consumable products.

Notwithstanding the fact that I write a ___-of-the-day column, I find the notion of monthly subscription clubs strangely appealing—in an endearingly retro sort of way. Since it’s easy to purchase almost anything instantly online these days, this type of subscription program is a bit of an anachronism. My suspicion is that clubs like these continue to thrive not so much for the convenience they provide but because people like novelty…and they like getting packages. If you can justify a subscription by convincing yourself that you’re saving money, all the better—but when you get right down to it, there’s just nothing like opening a box of goodies.

Note: This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Interesting Thing of the Day on May 11, 2003, and again in a slightly revised form on October 24, 2004.


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Author: Joe Kissell

Bad News

Yesterday the kids and I were going on a family trip, and from there going away for the weekend. We had a lot planned and were bringing our dog along, but since she wasn’t able to come to some places we were going (like a BBQ for single moms and their families) so I found a friend willing to watch her for a few hours in the city where we were staying.Unfortunately, while we were at the


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Author: Penniless Parenting